


Find Me for I am Alone : Star Wars Rebels Fanfiction

by TheBlackWidower



Category: Star Wars: Rebels
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Death, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Friends to Lovers, Graphic Description, Humor, Romance, Smut
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-31
Updated: 2018-01-19
Packaged: 2019-02-24 13:30:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death, Underage
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,365
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13214754
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheBlackWidower/pseuds/TheBlackWidower
Summary: The Battle of Scarif was a defining moment in the fight against the Empire. It set in motion the events that would happen for the next five years and influence for decades ahead. However, the battle was not an easy one, especially for the Ghost Crew. Garazeb Orrelios died during the Battle of Scarif in hopes of retrieving the Death Star plans due to Tarkin's own battle station. This story is one of grief, sadness, and conflict. A story of where temptation and weakness are one and whole. A story where two paths are bred. One of light and one of darkness. Which path is chosen? Which path is right?- This takes place following the Battle of Scarif





	1. Chapter I

**Ezra Person POV**

I watched in horror as the single reactor shot from the Death Star's green laser hit the ground of Scarif, blowing everyone, regardless of allegiance, to stardust. But it wasn't just the fact we lost Zeb. The pain was there because he  _chose_ to leave the space battle in hopes to find the plans that were used the destroy his homeworld of Lothal. The empire had decimated it and her population but had given out no information regarding their plan. Zeb had the right to know what had happened to his family, to his people, and to his home. And so when he asked Hera if he could take part in the ground invasion in hopes of securing the truth behind what really happened to his past, she had no choice but to concede. As the large shock wave spread across the planet, I recalled all the time I spent with Zeb and wondered if he had any regrets. I never did. Then it hit me. The countless deaths that emerged in the small span of time caused a moment of panic in me and Kanan. So much so it was as if a vacuum had occurred in the force and had sucked out thousands of lives in an instant, all of them crying out in pain and agony. In the brief moments of confusion and disbelief, Hera punched the hyperspace coordinates to Yavin IV. The Rebellion had secured the Death Star plans and a victory over Scarif, but at what cost? It was open war with the Empire. As the stars stretched out in front of us I saw the _Devastator_ , Darth Vader's flagship, jump into the system, narrowly missing us but an unfortunate transport hit it head on, disintegrating instantaneously. The last thing I saw was the flash of green imperial turbo lasers as they streaked through space towards the  _Profundity_ , our flagship, and numerous other unaware ships in the region.

Coming down from my gunner seat, I headed for the Dejarik table, in hopes it was just a joke or a bad dream but I needed to come to terms that Zeb, the last of the Lasat, had died. I looked around the living quarters in hopes of finding Kanan, or perhaps Hera, but had found no one. Alone, I considered going to my room, perhaps meditate, but decided it would be better for me to go to eating quarters and get some food. I never knew which meal would be my last. Sitting down with a cup of blue milk and Tatooine flatbread, I spotted Sabine coming from her room, her normally soft brown eyes were red with grief yet were hard as stone. Barely meeting my eyes, she quickly wiped hers in hopes of concealing the fact that she was crying. 

"It's not over yet, Sabine. We got the plans and we're going to find and destroy that...thing."

"That 'thing' destroyed Jedda, Scarif, and Zeb...What chance do we have Ezra? It's armed to the teeth with both that super laser and the numerous TIE fights, not mentioning the mass amount of turbo lasers on its surface. The plans are shit if it just blows everything up, Ezra. Tell me, what chance does the Rebellion have? Mandalore? Lothal? We're...we're done for Ezra. We might as well just-"

"We are not giving up. No. I refuse Sabine. I grieve for Zeb, I do. But he would want us to continue. Continue fighting with the Empire. The force only knows what happens if we allow the Empire to use that Death Star to...to..."

"If it can do that much damage with only a fraction of its hypermatter reactor, then...it can destroy planets, Ezra. We don't stand a chance against that firepower. Force we just lost thousands of men in that one battle, imagine the rest. We don't have the manpower, the weapons or the funding. Kriff Ezra, the Empire could just destroy all the planets that oppose them, including Mandalore-"

"We cannot let Zeb die in vain Sabine. It would be-"

Just then both Hera and Kanan walked into the eating quarters, one close to tears while the other stoic to the bone.

"We aren't letting Zeb die in vain. Sabine, we grieve for him too but this is war and people die. I've had friends that died in this war and Kanan has his past. We won't stop you Sabine, but do it with a clear mind. Get some rest, both of you. We have a battle coming to our doorstep soon." whispered Kanan

Nodding, I headed to bed while Sabine came to my side giving me a look of despair for a moment prior to her entering her room. Stepping laying down in my bed, I thought about the number of times me and Zeb had done things in general. I never noticed the tears until I tasted them upon my lips. Sighing, I turned to my side and slept the pain away.

 

**Sabine POV**

I sigh as I finish my painting, the colors weeping as I did, yet blend together to make a loving memory of the former Ghost Crew member Zeb. Ironically he disliked paintings, commenting on how they were a waste of time and credits and now he is only going to be remembered by them. Smiling, I turn from my piece to the rest of my room which is covered in Imperial  Grey. The past hours have been different, hard in the way of realizing that the world expects you to move on no matter the cost, no matter what happened. We are jumping ship so quickly that we've had mere hours to grieve for a friend and now hours before we have to defend Yavin IV. Losing Zeb made me appreciate every member of this Crew-, no family of mine. Heck, even Chopper seems that much more...part of me than before. I owe them, every one of them. They took me in when my real family, the one that was supposed to raise me, disowned me and left me for dead. Hera and Kanan they...they are parents to me. Smiling, I lift my paint brush, dipped in Lasat purple, to add a new mark to the wall when suddenly a screech rips through the air followed by a low, pained moan elsewhere from the ship.

I rush out of my room and into Ezra's to find him tossing and turning in his bed, clutching his head, crying. Concern sweeps over me, not wanting anything else to go wrong with my crew after what just happened, and so I rushed to his side. His eyes open to mine, his blue full of fear and shock at his revelation. 

"What...What happened?" I manage

"The death...billions, Sabine, ...Billions..."

"Ezra, what?"

He grasps my shoulder and looks into my eyes, fearful of what had just happened.

"Billions of lives, gone...they all cried out in pain and were...silenced. Just gone. It was like Scarif when the Death Star...No..."

His eyes widen at the realization of what had just happened and seek past me as the door opened, showing a struggling Kanan with Hera supporting hin.

With his voice barely a whisper, "They're gone, all of them. The lives have just...preished from the Force. It's the Death Star. It has to be. Then it was a mere city, now it's a planet. Force help us."

"What do you mean Kanan? How can they just destroy a planet? By the Force, billions..." Hera doesn't finish her sentence as the realization of the death toll reaches her. She looks and Kanan, but he wouldn't reach her eyes and merely looks down at the floor.

"What do we do now Kanan?" a weak voice musters from behind me

"We fight"

 

 


	2. Chapter II

**Ezra POV**

The new Galactic Map was mostly the same. Mostly. In the place where Alderaan would be is instead a blank area with the Hyperspace lane simply going through it. As if the two billion innocents that have been murdered was hardly important news. I knew that there was more to it and people weren't going to sit idle. Already Rebel Command had received notice that numerous star systems had joined us in open combat against the Empire, which would bolster both our funding and manpower. It mattered little if they could not arrive in the single hour we had leading to the Battle. Scouts had already confirmed the approach of the Death Star through other systems. Our placement on Yavin IV would be short, and most likely deadly. Hera, being a General, had the leave to 'reposition' us if need be. It would result in our immediate expulsion from theRebellion...if there was one left. Either way, there is a slim chance we would win, but with more fighters the chance of success increases. 

"We've been pushed around by the Empire enough, Hera. We need to stand up to them otherwise we're just a thorn in their side. There is no political method of stalling Empire, the time to act is now. We've acted on Scarif and there's no turning back."

Hera's eyes narrow at my words, her analytical mind racing through my words with such intensity, before replying,

"We acted on Scarif and we lost Zeb. Are you ready to take that risk here? We're family and every single one of you are a part of me that I cannot lose. We already lost Zeb and I can't forgive myself for allowing him to go down to the surface. It will haunt me for the rest of my days and as such, YOU tell me why we should act? It's not all flashy lightsabers and force-"

At that moment Kanan stepped in,

"Hera. We are all here because the Empire wronged us. It wronged me, you, Sabine, Ezra and most of all Zeb. I am not one to act for revenge but the Empire must end. We cannot allow Zeb to die in vain. He will be remembered for his heroic actions upon the surface of Scarf and not another pile of rebel ashes."

"We're all going to be ashes after this Kanan. They blew up Alderaan." replied Hera, "All two billion of them and Tarkin isn't stopping there."

She sighed and shook her head and opened her mouth to speak but was beaten to it by Sabine,

"We can either fight or run, and I've been running my entire life so I'm fighting."

Surprised at her change of heart, I give her a questioning look.

"We cannot give up, Hera. We are built on the will to keep fighting and the hope that we might one day live in a world where we need not worry about when the next planet is blown up." 

Hera let out a cruel, pained laugh followed by her response, 

" _We_ won't live in that world, Sabine. We're dead people. I...I never thought it would come to the death of Zeb. He always seemed so..." sighing, her few tears turned into torrents.

Suddenly Kanan's arm wrapped around her shoulders and steered her away from the common room, with the simple message of allowing them some time to think and talk their differences though. Sighing, I turn towards Sabine who wouldn't meet my eyes and was instead interested in the pale, grey and black floor. Fiddiling her thumbs about, she turned to go to her room before I stopped her with an arm on her shoulder. She turned to meet my eyes, her brown staring intensely into mine. I tried to find any resemblance to emotion within them but to no avail. Letting her go, I turned to go to the eating quarters

 

**Sabine POV**

"Ezra."

His head turned sideways, giving me a glance through the side of his blue eye. 

"Yes?"

"We're in no way were we going to sit out and let others avenge Zeb for us. Taking risks is what it means to be part of the Rebellion and if we die, so be it. I'll die knowing that I did my best to ensure justice for my friend, my brother, and his people."

Smiling he turns his full body towards me, his hight over the past years caused me to stare up at him instead of down, and nods in full assent at decision

"So will I Sabine. But I rather it does not come to that; who would drive you insane with terrible jokes?"

Huffing I add, "And terrible flirting."

His laugh rings through the room as he doubles over in amusement, his sky blue eyes glinting in the light while his buzz cut meeting with his stubble along the side of his face, filling out down to his chin.  Smiling at his reaction, I realize that he isn't the gangly kid I knew and has turned into quite a man. Though a stupid one at times.

"By the way, I saw that you were heading to the eating quarters and was wondering if you wanted to get food with me? 

The earlier lighthearted and laid back Ezra quickly turned into a mumbling fool who quickly said something  _along_ the lines of a "yea" and scratched the back of his head worriedly, as if I would allow anything would happen over food. Smirking, I walk past Ezra, lightly touching his hand with mine and brushing my thigh against his. He raises an eyebrow and shakes his head before following in suite, his lively smirk back at my rough attempt to flirt. I narrow my eyes and reply to his teasing look,

"I wasn't that bad was I?"  
He shrugged and lightly pushes past me, our shoulders pressing against each other for a brief amount of time, his demeanor back to one of carelessness. One which had never left him since day one. Well, that and mild sense of stupidity. 

"I've seen  _and_ done worse."

"Wait, when did you get any game?"

His eyes go back to his past, dulling at the whirlwind of emotions that have captured him before replying with a sigh,

"Back on Lothal, there _was_ this girl." he pauses then sighs, "She...She came to me after my parents were taken away, only three or four years older but at that time I didn't know anything but the menace that was the Empire and a friendly face...it goes a long way, Sabine. I may have started having feelings for her, and maybe her for me but I'll never know. It...there was a gang dispute in one of the alleyways. A stray shot that ricocheted off inside the ally hit her. She died in minuets."

His sentences were clipped at the end, signaling that it was a difficult conversation for him. My instinct told me to leave it there but considering that this was probably a chance where we wouldn't speak again I decided to go the extra step.

"What...What did she mean to you, Ezra?"

Another sigh escaped his lips as he sat on a nearby chair, thinking about his response. I almost gave up before he replied, his eyes meeting mine,

"She...she was like...Sabine, she took care of me when my parents were taken away. I cannot put how much that would mean to me in words, especially the person. Any attempt would....wouldn't suffice." 

Nodding in agreement, I get both of us some emergency rations and a glass of water before setting them down on a small table between us. Ezra was absentmindedly staring out the viewport at the stars above Yavin IV, picking at the food with his hand.

"I've always wondered, what was it like on Mandalore before..." he trailed off, obviously meaning the time prior to my exile.

"It was...harsh. Very harsh. The Empire viewed Clan Wren as practically rebels, but with a 'Do not shoot' order. They did everything else to our people and lands. No one died...at least not directly. Or they did die without evidence directly pointing to the Empire's army stationed there but we knew inside it was the Empire. I thought it would be easier for me to join them, work for the Empire and make our lives better."

Laughing bitterly I continued, "I was never more wrong in my life. They...they used me to create a weapon which would remove the usefulness of Beskar armor. The armor which could block a lightsaber for a small amount of time. Completly turn it and the wearer into ashes. When my people realized what I did..." I trailed off.

I could feel the tears sting in my eyes, the emptiness of my gut and chest. All signs of emotion. All signs pointing towards me crying, in front of someone else. A show of weakness. I looked away from Ezra, embarrassed at my sudden emotion. But when I turned back, I was met with his caring eyes staring right back into mine and I could not help but feel reassured. I shook my head and took a shaky breath, sipping my drink in hopes of changing the topic or pass the time. Neither would happen. His sky blue eyes continue to pierce mine to the point where I could see the cogs turning in his head, but I had no idea where he was heading to. 

"You really think the Empire is going to come for us when we have the plans to destroy their Space Station? I mean, they know it has a weakness. We practically told them so considering we fought and lost hundreds, if not thousands, all for a shitty data chip. Would they risk it?" 

Narrowing my eyes, I ask,

"What are you insinuating?"

"They're better off attack other, key regions. Heck, even the Hutts would be a better target than us. Clear out that sector and done. We need not worry about Jabba the Hutt." he answered with a smirk

"Most the bigger sources of resistance are in the outer rim." I replied, with a roll of my eyes, "The only main source of resistance along the way to here.." I pause, bringing out the Galatic Map, tracing my finger from Scarif along the hyperspace lane until it landed upon a sector which sent shivers through my body. 

"Mandalore..."  
"Look maybe it would be too much of a hassle-"  
"No...your right, by the force. It would be another check on their data books, wouldn't it? All the heritage, people, and culture...wiped off the face of the Galaxy."

"Sabine, we needn't jump there. There are many routes to Yavin IV, Mon Calamari, and Mandalore. It isn't just us who are rebelling against the Empire, we have plenty of allies!"  
"Not allies that know of the plans are and how to destroy that 'Death Star'!" I snapped, "And now...now my family might be next."

"If they wanted to get the plans, they would just jump over Mandalore, not sit around and wait to blow it up!"

"Except they can afford to do that because the Mandalorians can't do anything. They rather take down a weaker target, the smaller fish, until the Rebellion starves to death. This cannot be Tarkin heading this battle station. It's too..."

"Calculated, precise and emotionless. Thrawn."

"Ezra, we got to-"

( **THIS IS WHERE THE AU PART STARTS)**

**Ezra POV**

Without warning, an emergency notice came on in front of us, minimising the Galatic Map Sabine had just been using. Looking into her distraught eyes, I only could only hope that we were wrong. The rebel insignia was shown for a few seconds before an audio recording was passed through.

"To the Rebellion on Yavin IV, we order an immediate stand down and for all to start the evacuation process. The Death Star has been spotted by our spies to be in the Mandalorian System. From there it is supposed it would head towards our base. However, the pause allows us time to evacuate to our secondary base on the planet Hoth. We live to fight another day, Rebels!"

Sabine's screech swept through the Ghost, drawing Kanan and Hera from their cabin with concerned looks on their face. 

"What happened?"

"We need to-to-let my family know that the-! T-they got to know that there-"

I stared dumbstruck for a few seconds, unsure of what I should do until I felt Kanan probe at my mind,

_What happened?_

_The Death Star. It stopped at the Mandalorian system. After their uprising behind Bo Katan, and since it was along the way to Yavin IV..._

_The force save them_

_It might just be a coincidence_

_It isn't. I sense it in the Force, I know you do too. An impending doom._

_I do, I just don't want to believe that they would do it so soon after...I might not be able to take it._

_We know it's going to happen. All we can do is prepare for it._

_What about Sabine?_

Kanan simply shakes his head and turns towards Hera, whispering quietly into her ear, causing her eyes widening at the words before putting a reassuring, motherly arm, around Sabine, her shoulder's shaking with tears and fear. Hera whispered careful, inaudible, words into Sabine's ear which seemed to calm her down a little bit, which allowed Hera to quickly steer her towards her room. However this wasn't before Sabine looked over her shoulder into my eyes, her's full of fear. Wordlessly, she turns back and opens her door, with it hissing shut behind her. 

 

**OK so, yea I like the Death Star still being there to cripple the rebellion every so often and to bring the characters closer together. Also, more characters will die ahead of time. No JUST the Ghost crew members(hehe), but other key members of the rebel alliance. Heck, I might through some made up characters(Most likely villains) in there. This is all speculations and nothing is confirmed. I like playing around with an AU because it allows me to experiment with different outcomes. In short, more people will die. The idea that Thrawn was the tactician behind this is fun, even if it wouldn't make sense for Tarkin to give it up to Thrawn. Also I please comment on how you guys feel this is going. Did I rush anything? I also forgot to mention that the kids are a bit older, roughly around the 20 to 25-year mark.**

**P.S : I did not explicitly state what happened in the room with Kanan and Hera. You guys fill that in. ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)**

 

 

 

 


	3. Chapter III

**Grand Moff Tarkin POV**

"Grand Admiral Thrawn. Please report on your current...assignment." I ask, my eyes acknowledging the blue Chiss alien before me. His type was frowned upon in the Empire, however, if the man gets the job done, I can respect that. His loyalty was unwavering and his tactics were tried and sound. He is, admittedly, deserving of his rank, unlike some men within the Empire.

"The populace is calling for terms to be discussed, with the rebel's surrender a non-negotiable. I feel it may be...beneficial to talk sir."

"What about the previous planet, Krowsnest ?"

"It has been...dealt with sir. This Battle Station has not proved to instill fear, but with further enforcement using this method we should see progress, sir."

"Ensure that Concordia receives the same fate. We cannot waste the resources fighting the Mandalorians in their system. It took sixteen years for the Old Republic to defeat them. Such power combined with their unpredictable nature has left us no choice. Their death by this battle station would remove any further threat from this system, aiding in the spread of fear for this station and the enforcement of the Empire's rule throughout the Outer Rim. See it done, Grand Admiral Thrawn." I drawl out.

The war was tiring and while I serve the Emperor, I long for the time's I would sit with my son and talk to him in peace. Of a time where there was no wars or conflict. A time which we should all strive to live in. Yet the Rebellion continues upon their warmongering path, headstrong yet predictable. Their reallocation of their defenses to Yavin IV had left other parts of the territory weekend, the Mandalorian system one of them. The recent uprising there has contributed to many joining the rebellion and their strength was formidable. Was. 

"It will be done, sir."

"Good. Let the Galaxy see what happens to the Mandalorians. Their death will serve as examples, a better one than Alderaan."

Grand Admiral Thrawn simply nodded but I could see a sense of twisted joy within him. One I too shared and cultivated from time to time. The joy of watching your enemies burn and die at your hands while they can merely stand and cry for mercy. A mercy which they shall no receive. 

Suddenly, a mechanical breathing interrupted the silence that existed upon the bridge of my ship, the  _Executrix_. Heavy, metal boot steps sounded their way surprisingly quickly towards my position as I turned to face Darth Vader. 

"And to what reason have you graced us with your presence, Darth?" I asked, sarcastically edging the Sith, his demeanor one of extreme annoyance or...concern?

"Whatever you do in this Galaxy, ensure that Naboo is untouched Moff. Your recent galavanting has worried many within the inner rim. "

"I would never touch the Emperor's homeworld, but I do not take order's from you, Darth. Your inability to capture the Death Star plans that showcased its weakness has left me skeptical of its safety, forcing me to abandon it. It does not please me to have put it in someone else's hands, no matter the skill. The Death Star, the Empire's biggest investment and flagship for all intents and purposes, has a glaring weakness that  _WE_ do not know. That is the problem now Vader.  Do  _I_ make myself clear?" I bit back, narrowing my eyes, his red and black paralleled the Imperial Grey across the Star Destroyer. The following silence was deafening, causing the crew upon the deck to uncomfortably shift and shoot glances to each other in fear. 

"The Emperor will not always be giving out orders, Moff. "

With that he left the bridge, the metal doors closing shut behind him with a hiss. His words weren't meaningless if the way he managed the 501st was an example. Their fear of their leader was not an unknown story, accompanied by Vader's showcase of strength upon the battlefield. My thoughts turned towards finding the Rebellions base in hopes of finally crushing them once and for all.

  
Ezra POV(Few days later)  
The separation that followed for the days was as if a Star Destroy split in two accompanied by the silence of the desolate planet caused more and more difficulties. This was doubled with the painful cold Hoth weather and the uneasy feeling of security. With the destruction of major planets within the Mandalorian System and uneasy talks with the Mon Calamari's, the moral of the Rebellion fell. Mere four hundred men and women on this base with the threat of a planet-destroying station that could hyperspace in at any point and end it for us. Sighing, I walked through the trenches of Hoth, looking for a way to pass the time but instead found a person. Unrecognizable from the distance, I closed the gap between us before I noticed the solid rectangular cover over the man's eyes. Kanan. 

"It's a nice scene."  
"I know." he replies, noting his ability to 'see' through the force

Nodding, I looked out towards the barren yet simplistic wasteland of Hoth. The snowfall light yet enough to where each glance was different, the white shades glowing under the morning sun. The small protrusions from the ground, looking like small hills of snow, was the only symbol of our land defense system. 

"We have nothing from the Mandalorians and indifference from the Mon Calamari. Our lack of success and movement further into the outer rim has caused many systems to rethink their open war upon the Empire. Considering that their homes could be destroyed in a single stroke, I can't really blame them. We have to show that the Empire can be defeated."

"Destroying Star Destroyer's won't cause much of a commotion. The Death Star is the symbol of tyranny, fear, and terror. Eviscerate that and we have our message, Ezra."  

Huffing, by breath, turned into a minuscule cloud of steam, rising up into the air, free from all constraints and binds. Then, suddenly without warning, a strong breeze caught it and dispersed it to conform to the rest of its movement, it's freedom stripped and it's binds replaced. 

"At this rate, the Empire doesn't look likes it's falling anytime soon."

My words brought a smile to Kanan's face before he replied, 

"Wars are long, Padawan. The Clone Wars was five years long but it would've been at least a decade before peace was achieved if it had continued the way it had. Many died, and many would continue to die. That is, at its essence, war. The droids were unintelligent yet had blasters in their hands and had caused millions of casualties, both clone and Jedi alike.  They wouldn't fall easily but they would. They were not invincible."

"Neither is the Empire," I replied with conviction and strength

"And neither are you." he shoots back  
Grinning at his jab, I continued to look out across the plains of Hoth again. The fridged ice planet, so unwelcoming prior to our landing, was now a calm and peaceful wasteland. The only disturbance being the ever closing tumbling wind, riding across the white desert towards us.   

"What..What about Sabine?"  
"She holds her family close to her heart. Far closer than anyone else in her position would. I suspect she blames herself for their death. Perhaps you would like to talk to her?"  
"She would shoot me or hug me. I'm pretty sure its the former but perhaps the latter."

There was a cough from Kanan, sounding suspiciously like the word 'former'.

"Regardless, I think I should wait a few days. It is a discussion I also need to meditate and think about, Master"

Noticing the incoming winter storm that had closed the gap far faster than anticipated, I called out over the shuddering noise,

"We should get inside before we're swept away."

"You go ahead. I need some time to meditate. The landscape, it calms me."  
Nodding, I turn and walk slowly back to the base before stopping. Looking over my shoulder, I called out,

"I hope I see you on the other end, Kanan. After all of this." Signalling to the world around us meaning the conflict, war, and death, before continuing

"I also hope you know that you were there when no one else was. When my parents were gone, and I alone. I was lost." 

His calm demeanor did not shift at my confession, and yet I knew he was overcome with emotion and joy. I know he isn't a Jedi. He never was. But he's Kanan Jarrus, my Master.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok, so I realized that Chapter Notes can also, and is usually used as author notes...sorry. And yes, Tarkin did have an ISD by the name of the Executrix before he moved the Death Star. I also made the change where Tarkin actually left the DS, since ya know...it's glaring weakness. I also thought it would be a safe bet to introduce Thrawn that way since he is also a very smart battle commander. I am trying to make all viewpoints accessible to the reader so if it's feeling slow to move, especially the relationships, that's why. Also, Sabine's family are now dead. Krowsnest has been destroyed with Sabine and any off-world Mandalorians being the only survivors. For all that don't know, Concordia is another planet within the Mandalorian System that was a symbol of the Mandalorian warriors that fought the Old Republic. I think it's also important to note that the planet Mandalore isn't destroyed, which is different from the Mandalorian system. This IS a bit technical, but I hope you understand. Also, my school started recently so I'll attempt once a week uploads, give or take a few days but no promises as I try to juggle this, sleep, school, social interactions etc. Anyways thanks for reading and, if you want to, please let me know if I am doing anything wrong as this is my first time uploading on AO3. Gooday/Good night to all!


	4. Chapter IV

**Third Person POV(Hoth Rebel base)**

The ice winds rushed under the metal reinforced doors as they closed behind the rebel Commander Bridger, his feet thumping ever so quietly upon the metal flooring as he made his way through the Hoth hanger bay, his orange colored clothing parallel to the white and orange streaked upon the Snowspeeders chained to the ground. His eyes wandered around the busying hanger bay, the red, green, grey and orange of the rebellion making it harder to spot who he was looking for. The person always looking to stand out, her armor painted to perfection and made to contrast with anything, now was impossible to find. He knew that she needed someone to talk to, and suspected that she spoke to Hera but not with someone her own age, who had also lost their own family. The suffering, guilt, and anger that coursed through him the days that followed their disappearance was pain no one should deal with alone. Today wasn't any easier upon the young man, with it being the same day that Kanan Was blinded by Maul as he endeavored for more power, attempting to sate the hunger that came to him after opening the Sith Holocron. He was at the top of the Sith temple when he felt the pain lash through his body, and the force connection with Kanan had diminished as the older man lay withering in pain and agony far below.  Wincing at the memory he walked passed the many X-Wings and Y-Wing bombers that lay intact, their paint unchipped. It was as if the Rebellion had recently ordered them until one looks closely at the layer of grime and dirt that accumulated following the months they have been left here to rust. Months where they did nothing but watch as their allies gave up hope in them and the Rebellion. Those who stayed loyal didn't stay long.

"You look...tense."

Ezra whipped around as a light, almost amused, female voice cut through the chatter by the Ghost's ramp. His sapphire eyes gleamed at the hazel-brown that stared back, the amusement still there. As the surprised smile across Ezra turned a warmer tone, he answered half-heartedly, 

"Hey"

The silence between them stretched as the noises from the hanger was drowned out, a frown creeping onto her face as the context of their conversation came to her, and the tension in the air came alive and swirled around them. As if a charge was sent through the air, the tingling sensation that coursed through Ezra's arm caused him to fidget. Confused, he wondered why it was him that was tensed and not the women who had lost everything. If the family that had once thrown her away meant  _this_  much to her, what does her new family mean to her? Scratching the back of his head in silent discomfort his brief hiatus from reality was broken as her voice cut through the hanger bay, its sounds a mixed muffle of noises and incoherent words

"Common, it's noisy and crowded out here. The Ghost is empty, we can talk in there."

As she disappeared up the ramp Ezra followed suit, his younger counterpart would've jumped at the possibility of being alone with Sabine but time and circumstance weren't his allies.

They faced the silent grey spaceship with content, a sigh escaping Sabine's lips in frustration at the lack of color. The ship was a blank canvas yet also held it's own art within it; the grey metal walls being the life she created. Created from scraps of her old life, her old self. A self which she longed to forget, yet could not. Her family that caused her so much joy was what she couldn't forget. Her family that caused her so much pain, and she to them, was now gone, her hope to once again be a part of them slashed as their world turned into lifeless rubble. Shaking her head, she walks quickly past the cafeteria, the memory of the conversation between her and Ezra of Zeb's death came to mind as quickly as it left, and into her room. As the door closed behind her with a swish, the slow yet controlled and cautious steps of Ezra approached the door, coming to a stop. The silence that ensued was tugging her like a black hole, wanting to talk to someone yet also no one. Sighing, she opened her door to a concerned yet silent Ezra who waited for her, patient and controlled. His face was calm and emotionless, the only exception being his eyes giving out the fact that he was indeed unsure of what he was supposed to do. His stubble and short hair created a frame around his square face, accentuating his square build which towered over her, almost intimidating but also imbued a sense of security which she longed for since the news of her family's death. She turned her back to him and walked further into her room, sitting on the far end of her bunk with Ezra following her and standing in front of her, looking about and trying to find a way to talk to her about the recent events. Sitting down at the other end of the bed, closer to the door, Ezra looked into the painting of Zeb on her wall, the paint already chipping off.

"Tell me something...anything. I understand the...guilt and-and  _pain_  you must be going through," He whispered, turning his eyes to meet hers, "I too lost my family..."

She didn't say anything, simply scooted closer to him and rested the back of her head on his shoulder, and looked up at the dead grey ceiling.

"They were taken from me so...quickly and ruthlessly. I never freed Lothal like we did Mandalore from the Empire...They died as slaves to a regime centered around fear and suppression. And now we're going to go out the same..."

"No Ezra," She whispered, silently yet with force and conviction, "We'll die free."

Shaking his head he stands, raw emotion coursing through him like lightning through water, alive and leeching off of his anger and hate. Anger and hate for the Empire. Sighing in defeat, 

"The Empire...it needs to suffer but...I can't do it with Kanan. He wouldn't approve. It's not the Jedi way. Yet the atrocities the Rebellion commits...in the name of 'good'. It's hypocritical. No one's right. It's just...My parents... they haven't gotten the justice they deserve. Whichever path we take, it always the 'wrong' path, leading us astray of the code we live, breath and die by."

"Perhaps the Rebellion, Empire and the Jedi way isn't the right way, Ezra. There is more to life than this.." she replies, motioning her hand to her surroundings  
Turning around in shock, he stares into her eyes, burning with curiosity and confusion. Indecision and conflict.

"What?"

"Your emotion, it's not a hindrance Ezra. It's what drives you, me,  _people_  to fight for what the love. What is life without it? What would your parents mean to you without the love you bore them?  _Our_ family? Passion, creativity, caring...they are what make you...well you"

"What about Kanan? He wouldn't see-"  
"Ezra... Even Kanan isn't perfect, you know?"

  
"What?"

Sabine looked at him in disbelief before giggling which lead to laughter at his ignorance.

"What!?"

"Are you blind? Can't you sense it with your force thing? By the Mand'alor, do you truly not know?"

Her knowing eyes and tilted eyebrow mocked Ezra, infuriating him. 

"You know, I could just read your mind."

"You wouldn't" she replied, half in amusement, half goading him to even  _dare_

"Oh, I don't know," he responded, his voice laced with mocking menace, "I  _truly_  wonder whats tucked up in there. I could be doing it right now and you wouldn't even notice. I might have done it since the start." 

His belittling words coupled with his mild sense of superiority caused her to jab him in the ribs, digging her finger into his sides, causing him to yelp in pain. 

"Yea but  _you_ noticed  _this_  didn't you? Tell me, if you can actually read my mind, what's my true hair color? I never told you."

"Brown. Hera and Kanan have a relationship? Really? Since-"

"Firstly your not going to tell anyone about my hair color and if you do, you'll have no hair for the rest of your life. Got that?"  
A meek nod was all she received as a reply, yet only Sabine knew she was joking.

"And secondly?"

"Secondly, kriff you for reading my mind."

His haughty laughter caused her to punch him again, but she laughed in similar amusement. 

"You're an asshole."

"You laughed."

"I...I did. Thank you."

His laughter stopped, but his eyes were still warm with caring and emotion. Putting his hand on her forearm, he smiled and nodded.

"Always. You hungry?"

"Really?"

"What? I'm hungry."

Shaking her head, she brushed past the sarcastic, cheeky man and walked out of her room. Before closing the door, she turned back,

"Thanks...again."

"No worries, Sabine. By the way, I was thinking...Perhaps a mission to get things moving? Shooting stormtroopers is always fun." 

Smiling, she responds,

"That...that would be nice, Ezra. Something to get us back on our feet."

"I'll talk to Kanan and see what we can get. Perhaps something the whole crew can join in on."

"Sure...yea. Let us get food. Thinking about it, I'm also hungry."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so this is the 4th chapter of this series and I like how this is going, but I am not sure what you guys think. Please comment on how I can improve, it really helps. Also, I won't say anything about the next chapter as I haven't finalized anything other than it's going to come sometime next week. I will attempt to keep a weekly upload but it depends on how much free time I have, as I don't have much of it during the weekdays. I am not sure if the way I got Ezra to comfort Sabine was...eh good enough? I don't know. I just to know that I'm going on the right path.


	5. Chapter V

Third Person POV(Rebellion)

Snow stormed down upon the base on Hoth, the metal doors shut close to keep the prying hands of the frost from the inside, from the remnants of the Rebellion. Within the recent months, the Empire had squashed any rebel pockets that had come out following the Mandalorian Genocide. The purges within the Imperial Army focused upon the remaining Mandalorians and Alderannians that showed any sign of dissent, the number that died was unknown. Growing concerns about the next move that the Rebel High Command had to take to ensure that they survived was of paramount importance as their supplies had begun to dwindle.

"We don't have supplies to stay here and the Empire will pick up any large movement of ships, like ours, through hyperspace. We need a diversion," argued General Dodonna, "A large one."

"We have information regarding the position of a new type of Star Destroyer, a Dreadnought Class, in its final stages of construction," replied Mon Mothma, her voice wavering at the thought of the nineteen kilometers long starship capable of dwarfing the Rebel Alliance's current fleet.

"It is stationed at the Kuat Drive Yard," She continued,  "The Imperial's stationed there number around the tens of thousands, not taking into account a possible fully manned dreadnought nor the firepower of the numerous Star Destroyers. Getting in is easy but...but getting out after the alarm is set...It's a living breathing prison with a one-way door. There is no way the Ghost Crew could do this with no casualties."

"We've heard that before," Smirked Ezra, his cocky aura causing some his crew to roll their eyes, yet took away from the magnitude of the situation, "We'll take them down as we did before. Just sneak in there, plop a few bombs and get out. Just like always."

"Commander! You can't be serious! Schematics show hundreds of thousands of Imperials are on that ship! The undertaking of such an act cannot fall upon four, no matter how talented or gifted." Dondonna breaks out in disbelief and slight anger

"General, I have full faith in the Ghost Crew and while I believe such an undertaking has high risks there is a significant chance where this operation will succeed. Many of the Imperial High Command are there, discussing how to destroy us. We cannot sit idly and accept our fate on this desolate wasteland. We cannot stop here, we've come too far to turn back now. There is either the fight, exile or execution and I rather execution than exile. The Empire destroyed my home with my family and I will not stand by as they do that to billions or trillions of others. The Empire needs to be damaged."

"We have the Death Star plans!"

"And nothing to fight it! You think our mere seventy starfighters stand a chance against the Death Star's full armament? We are reduced to having to attack in the shadows because we were outsmarted and outmaneuvered. This is our best option, and is final."

Bowing his head in submission to his superior, Dondonna took a step back but his eyes were full of sadness and regret.

"What are our orders exactly, Commander?" asked Hera, cautiously, hoping to know the full extent of the mission. "I hope it's not unnecessarily putting my crew in harm's way."

"Captain, your orders are...vague...You are to infiltrate the Star Destroyer by any means and proceed to the main reactor. We have no knowledge of its location as it was exempt from all schematics as a safety precaution following the Death Star's plans being stolen. This ship is massive, but should you be successful...The Empire would need to lick its wounds, allowing us to properly contact our allies for any help. "

Hera's eyes clouded with doubt and insecurity as she accepted the mission with a nod of her head, knowing that this would be the largest and perhaps deadliest undertaking for the Ghost Crew. The metallic paintless walls encroached upon them as they turned and left the meeting room, the former cockiness of their youngest member gone as the reality of their mission hit him. His thoughts shifted between his crew members before finally settling on Sabine, for reasons unknown to even him.

Seeing a junction coming up, he mumbled about needing to use the refresher and quickly turned the corner, hoping for time to meditate.

_ What happened, Ezra? _

_ I...I don't feel the Force is on our side for this mission, Kanan _

_ The Force works in mysterious ways, young one. Do not despair, we will succeed. _

_ Yes, Master. _

_ Perhaps meditation would be helpful? You seem tense and- _

_ Don’t worry, I’ll be fine. _

Walking into the hanger, he was greeted with the general commotion and chatter which melted into senseless noise and ambiguity. Searching, he found the Ghost parked at the far end of the long, endless hanger. Grumbling, Ezra marched his way across the cold, dry bay and to his home, quickly getting into his room and closing the door. Sighing, he knelt has he had done previously numerous of times and proceed to focus on the Force that surrounded him, penetrated him and bound the Galaxy together. He felt calm sense overcome him, washing over the previous anxiety that had held him tight as he heard the numbers he would go against. The thousands upon thousands of Stormtroopers that would actively search for him and his crew, to kill or maim. His gut wrenched at the thought of the torture, pain, and longing for death his crew, family, might face. Shaking his head, he focused on the force again yet was interrupted by an unannounced yet familiar voice coming from behind his door.

“Ezra...You ok?”

“Yea...Yea I think. Come in.”

The door hissed open as Sabine walked in, her helmet tucked under her left arm while her other rested naturally on her weapon holster.

“Planning to shoot me? Relax Sabine!”

“What? Do you realize that Hera signed us up for a suicide mission right? How can you sit there and be so...so…”

“I’m scared too,” He admitted, turning away from her, “I don’t think dying is a good idea.”   
Narrowing her eyes at his words, she sat down next to him, legs crossed, and placed her helmet by her side.

“Who would use the Galaxy’s worst pickup lines on me if you died?”

His smirk widened and he proceeded to drape an arm around Sabine’s shoulder, bringing her closer. She allowed him, taking comfort in his warmth and security.

“We did have food the other day...Does that count?”   
“You wish.” Sabine retorted, smiling, before leaning her head against his shoulder. She didn’t know why she felt so safe with his arms around her. She almost felt...hopeless without him.

“You know...I always wondered…”

“Spit it out, Ezra,” she ordered, running her hand across his chest

“Will there be a time where...where we live in peace? A time where we don’t need to worry about...anything?”   
Silence followed, the mood taking a darker turn, and caused Sabine to tense.

“I’m sorry, bad t-”

“I think...Maybe. One day we can live without fear. But not today.” she answered sighing

His armed shifted around her shoulder, rubbing slow, lazy circles as a calming method. Murmuring, she unknowingly shifted her body to face his, half hugging him.

“Whatever happens, we’ll make them pay. For what they did to us. To your family and mine” Sabine calmly said, not divulging into anger.

“Are you sure they were all on the world? There could be…”

“No Ezra...They’re...They’re dead. There’s no going back and we must avenge them.”

Absentmindedly stroking his beard, look down into Sabine’s eyes. The hazel-gold brown was holding back tears of pain.

“I never could make them proud...Tristane was the perfect kid, following Mandalorian tradition to heart while I was the odd one. The one that  _ painted _ . The one that thought differently about Mandalore, for Mandalore.  The one that...that made  _ it _ .” 

Weeping, she tried to hide her face from Ezra, embarrassed with the show of emotion, but Ezra wouldn’t have any of that firmly holding her to his shoulder and hugged her tightly. His own emotions were raging, the loss of his family still being a soft spot. 

Minutes of the silent crying went by until she finally looked up at him, realizing that he had been there for her when she was unsure, unsafe and confused. That he held her as she let out emotions only seen by herself. That he was holding her now, concern and...and love written over his face.

Cupping his cheek, with her other hand gripping his hair, she pressed her lips to his. The meeting was explosive yet Ezra froze, dumbstruck and confused, causing Sabine to pull away, regret painted over her face.

“I’m sorry, I should go…” she said, standing up.

As she stood up and picked her helmet off the grey floor, she felt him grip her hand and made her turn to him. Before she could say anything, his left arm wrung itself around her lower back while his right settled on her left cheek.

“Don’t go. Stay.”

And so she did, gasping as Ezra pushed her against the wall of his cabin, his mouth on hers, his hands exploring her curves. Grabbing his hair, she broke the kiss to breathe and looked into his blue eyes, clouded with lust and need. She tried to think of anything to say yet was stopped when his mouth latched onto her neck, biting into her skin, causing her to let out a soft, quiet, whimper. The noise reinvigorated an already enthusiastic Ezra who growled. His hands cupped her supple ass, groping and kneading the flesh, causing Sabine to moan. Her hands went from his hair to his chest, abs, and ass, running her hand across the muscle. Ezra pulled back, tearing his shirt off before returning to the warmth of Sabine’s body. Sabine’s hand went down from his stomach to his belt, attempting to undo it yet couldn’t due to her fumbling fingers, shaking with anticipation. Ezra, however, stopped kissing her and pulled back, confusion written over his face. 

“You sure?”

Sabine looked around, her mind one addled with her physical needs and her emotional needs. She knew it would be wrong to go so far in so little time, knowing that this had to stop before it got too heated.

“No...We should...I’m sorry, I should go.”

“No, wait. Sabine!”

She turned to him, embarrassment written clearly over her face.

“I shouldn’t have-”   
“By the Force, I loved it. Don’t...Don’t go.” he pleaded, quietly yet firmly. His blue, electric, eyes never leaving her’s. 

“You...loved it?”

“Yes! I...I always wanted you.” His admission stood out in the air, risking his entire relationship.

“Do you feel the same, Sabine?”

“I’m not sure, Ezra. It’s all too quick and I don’t want to do something that I would regret. But I feel something with you, I don’t know what but it's something.”   
“Completion”

Her eyes met his, and he knew he was correct. He closed the distance and held her in his arms, their faces mere inches apart.    
“By the Force, do I want you.”

She giggled, a sweet noise that reverberated around the room. 

“Shut up and kiss me, Bridger.”

  
And so he did, meeting her lips again that day, their bodies a fumbling mess of limbs. He broke the kiss and pushed her lightly onto the bed, causing Sabine to squeal. She sat up on the bed, her eyes clouded with the need of a man.

“Come here.”   
Clambering on top of her, he bit into her shoulder and reached around to grab her ass. Kneading the flesh for the second time that day, he caused her to moan his name. Sabine wasn’t just taking though, running her nails across his back as he moaned her name. She flipped them around to where she was on top, her hips grinding against his erect manhood covered in layers of clothes. Gasping at the sensation, Ezra took the risk of grabbing Sabine’s breasts. While covered in her body suite, the thin black layer did little to stop the pleasure that ripped through Sabine’s body. She arched her back, with her hands running down Ezra’s chest and onto his bulge. His response was cupping her mound, running his fingers across the lips that were swollen with arousal. His ministrations caused her to shake with satisfaction as her moans ripped through the cabin once more. She pushed his fingers deeper into the body suite, hoping for the pleasure to increase yet was disappointed. Ripping the lower half of the body suite off, she pushed Ezra’s fingers into her, arching her back at the penetration.

“Are *gasp* a virgin?” Sabine asked, knowing that she had rarely been able to pleasure herself to his level.   
“Yes, are you?” He asked, moaning at the end as his manhood was stroked through the layers of clothing he still had on.

“Yes, now take your clothes off Bridger, I need you.”

Hastily pulling his pants down and ripping his shirt off, Ezra lay bare for Sabine’s scrutiny yet was met with lustful eyes that hinted at love. 

Sabine’s hand went down to his navel, rubbing her hand across the bottom. Whimpering, he realized that she was playing him yet could do nothing. 

“Sabine...please.” He begged

Grinning, she wrapped her hand around him and stroked his length. He moaned and whimpered as Sabine kissed and bit him, continuously pleasuring him. He was immobilised and weak, at the will of Sabine. He needed to get some leverage. Twisting them around, Ezra pushed two fingers into her heat, enveloping them in her folds. Arching her back, she simply grabbed onto him as he pumped his fingers in and out. Sabine couldn’t think, yet knew something was coming. There was pressure building, wanting to be let out and she was edging closer and closer to it. To release. Digging her nails further into his back, she fluttered around his fingers and climaxed. She whimpered as he continued pleasuring her, driving her insane. When she regained her sense, she knew Ezra too needed his release, his pleasure. She continued stroking his length and proceed to kiss her way down to his navel, his hands shaking in anticipation. 

“Sabine...You don’t have-”   
“Oh, but I want to. I want to see you whimper and moan. You can’t stop me.”

“Why would I?”

His last words ended in a cry as her mouth enveloped his manhood, pleasure streaking across his body. His moans got louder and louder, his hands gripping her hair as she bobbed up and down.

Unable to comprehend the pleasure or where he was, Ezra climaxed without warning, his seed filling her mouth. Realizing soon after, he proceeded to apologize yet silenced with a kiss. Sabine rested her sweaty head on his chest, drawing lazy circles across his hair.

“That...that was nice, Sabine...Thank you.”

Smiling, she nuzzled against him and wrapped her arm around his neck before asking,

“How did we get here so fast?”   
Laughing, Ezra replied,

“I’ve been hitting on you since I first saw you. For me, it has been years.”

The two fell asleep there, content with each others presence and took comfort in one another’s warmth. Any thought of the mission they would depart for lost, replaced with unyielding love. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ok so...yea this is the first smut on this fanfiction and actually is my first I have ever written. I know I'm late on this chapter but I fell sick, sorry. More importantly, what do you guys think? Let me know because I am unsure if I am taking this in the right direction. Thank you all!


End file.
